


Something Kind

by anemic_cinema



Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/F, Falling In Love, Femslash, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Masturbation, Unrequited Love, marital rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-13
Updated: 2014-04-13
Packaged: 2018-01-19 06:26:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1459300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anemic_cinema/pseuds/anemic_cinema
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A deleted scene from World's End Boyfriend. How Carol fell for Andrea.</p><p>Content Warning: references to domestic abuse, marital rape, sexual abuse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something Kind

Kindness always took Carol by surprise. Ed had done a good job at making it so that even the merest hint of kindness would keep her from running. The one time she had run, he'd given her a big display of kindness, of remorse, even tears. And it worked. He'd molded her perception so well that those little moments were somehow greater than all the insults, the blows, and the threats. 

But he hadn't counted on people like Andrea. When she'd stood up, and told him exactly what she thought of him that day at the quarry, Carol had been terrified, for herself and for the other woman. Underneath that terror though, there'd been a spark that lit up inside of Carol. Andrea's selflessness, and her lack of fear, and her willingness to defend her made Carol envy her. 

Even before then, the way the blonde talked to her was kind. There was no pity in her demeanor. Instead, she showed empathy towards Carol. She wasn't used to that. She was used to people looking at her like she was some unfortunate creature, unable to leave the brute at her side because she was weak, or stupid, or a masochist. None of that was true, but Carol certainly thought it was. Ed had made sure of that.

When Ed was killed by the walkers, there was a part of Carol that felt glad. It sounded monstrous, but it was true. As much as she mourned him, because there had been love there once that wasn't tainted by violence, that little part of her rejoiced in its freedom from him. Now she would only have to fear for herself and the safety of her daughter from the dead, not from the man who supposedly had loved her. 

It was a mercy that he was killed when he was killed. She'd seen him look at Sophia. Sophia had told her about how Daryl had “talked” to him. That helped her move on. 

At the CDC, she wondered if she should try and reach out to Andrea. She didn't look so fearless now. Her loss had been greater than Carol's. She watched her drink down glass after glass of wine, finally taking a bottle with her to her room. Carol told Sophia to wait for her in the room with the books and she went to see Andrea. She knocked on the door, and a slurred voice told her to come in.

Andrea was slumped on the couch in the room, taking swigs of wine directly from the bottle.

“I wanted to check on you see if you were ok.” Carol crossed her arms in front of her, not sure why she was so damn nervous around this woman.

Andrea gave a pained grin and gave her a thumbs up. “I'm great. Getting good and drunk. Hopefully killing some brain cells.” She put her lips to the bottle and drank. “Want some?”

Carol shook her head and sat down next to her. She didn't like alcohol. Ed used to try and get her drunk all the time. She was more pliable when she was drunk. It was how he'd gotten her pregnant. First he'd hidden her birth control, then he'd gotten her drunk, and the rest she didn't remember. Nine months later, she'd held Sophia in her arms. Up until that point she'd cursed her growth inside of her, because then she was another reminder that Ed could do whatever he wanted to her. But when she looked into those eyes of hers, and felt those tiny fat fingers close around hers, she became the one good thing in her life, and the one thing that could keep her alive. 

“I'm so sorry about Amy.” 

Andrea put the bottle down, and folded over onto herself. Carol held her until she stopped sobbing. 

**

That night was the first night that Carol thought about Andrea before falling asleep. The next morning was the first morning where her waking thoughts were of Andrea. That would now become routine for Carol. The thoughts were gentle. Everything else was awful, so she needed something gentle to think about. Like Andrea smiling at her, holding her hand, letting Carol rest her head on her shoulder. Things that made Carol feel like a teenager with a crush.

**

After Sophia was found, Carol was happy, but in that happiness there was regret, because Andrea no longer slept by here side. Now Carol slept alone, with her daughter in the cot next to her. It was good, but now she felt the acute pain of loneliness. She began to think of Andrea in ways she hadn't before. She would think of the times they'd lain together, and imagined what could have happened if the circumstances had been different. 

Carol imagined Andrea smiling at her, and kissing her, the blonde's lips softly covering her own. She thought of Andrea touching her body like it was worth being touched, of being undressed by the other woman, of their bodies entwining and their voices sighing. 

Ed used to make her watch porn with him, forcing her down to her knees while he watched the action on screen. Carol hated it, because he favored scenes were women would be touching each other and looking like they were enjoying being with one another until they were interrupted by some average-looking man with a hard on. Then they'd do whatever it was their contracts said they'd do with him. Sometimes, there would be brief moments were the women would kiss and caress each other. Those were the only moments she liked, the little things like one tucking a strand of hair behind the other woman's ear. Something kind in the middle of something terrible. Those were the moments that aroused her. Now she kept thinking of doing the same with Andrea. Except no man would interrupt them. It would be just them. Carol didn't think she'd ever have use for a man ever again. She'd had her fill of their cruelty. She wanted gentleness now, from someone who could touch her and know what they were doing.

Sometimes, when she had the opportunity to use the shower inside the house, Carol would think about these kind things, and pretend her fingers were Andrea's. She was used to doing that kind of thing fast. Lord knows Ed never managed to do it for her, so she did it for herself. She was used to having a vibrator, which made it faster, but her fingers worked just as well.

Her favorite thing to imagine was Andrea standing behind her in the shower, her arms around her, her hand slowly sliding down below her waist. Carol stroked herself fast, bracing herself against the wall. Her legs trembled from the effort. She wanted to collapse, in her mind she would, but Andrea would hold her up. She'd hold her up and make her cum as many times as she could manage before Carol would say uncle. In reality, Carol allowed herself time for one orgasm. She didn't want to use up the Greene's hot water. That would be poor guest etiquette.

Carol wondered if Andrea had ever done the same while thinking about her. Probably not. Maggie was more her type. It was hard not to be bitter about it. It wasn't the younger woman's fault that Carol had realized too late what her feelings were. Besides, it wasn't like she'd be able to express them anyway. So she was left with furtive masturbation, and daydreams where Andrea looked at her, saw those feelings, and responded in kind.


End file.
